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So gentle.
Whatever works.
Jesus.
No.
No! No!
Don't! Leave him alone!
Get off.
You're just screwing everybody, aren't you?
- No. - You son of a bitch.
That should do it.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
It's all right.
The worst part's over now.
Yeah.
We'll go away.
We'll visit my family.
You'd like my family.
I just love this house. It's such a classic Victorian.
It was built around 1886, probably remodeled slightly in the '40s.
I know what you're thinking.
Needs a lot of TLC and it's a little pricier than what we talked about originally.
But you've got two units downstairs to help you cover the mortgage.
And I really think, relatively speaking, we can get this place for a song.
- Up here... - So, what do you think?
Seven hundred and fifty grand, huh?
That's not a song, it's an opera.
Between my savings and Drake's, we can cover the down payment.
Realtor said we could get one of those home equity loans for improvements.
You'll be totally tapped out.
Well, we'll have rental units.
Well, what if you can't rent them?
The vacancy rate in this area is less than 2 percent.
Look, you want my advice or my approval?
- Your advice. - Your approval.
Pass. It's too risky a call.
I mean, if someone misses one month's rent...
you'll go down like the ritanic.
I don't think you can get approval for the loan at your income level.
We'll fudge the numbers a little.
Yeah. Everybody does it. It's expected.
"Legal description of building".
It's a building.
Well, I don't think that's what they mean. It's like, you know...
It's a wooden building with windows.
All right. We'll come back to that one.
My previous employment.
Equestrienne.
That's too pompous. Self-employed.
Okay.
"Manner in which title will be held"?
Like this.
Please, please.
Held with both hands with a goofy expression.
I can't believe we're actually gonna do this.
Marital status.
- Single. - Single? Yeah.
- Yeah, do it, do it! - Yeah!
Come on! Yeah.
Come on! Get it down, buddy! Come on!
Come on! Knock it down!
Mine! Now it's all mine!
If we rent the studio for 1000...
and the one-bedroom for 1200...
Thirteen hundred. You should go up and down.
All right, 1300.
- That leaves us... - Fourteen hundred.
fourteen hundred to cover the mortgage...
which is $300 a month less than we used to pay...
for our two old apartments. We're saving money.
Yeah. Assuming we don't go broke before we rent them.
Then you've got to replace the plumbing and rewire the electric.
Remember this is an investment. Can't afford to do everything at once.
It's not just an investment. It's our home.
Well. You want something to drink?
Sure.
Hey, there's a cat outside.
Hey, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Could be good luck.
- Could be hungry. - Yeah.
Thanks.
I'm pooped.
Is that your manly walk?
It's the only walk I've got.
- You feel comfortable. - Yeah?
Like your old saddle?
Better. I just wish I had some spurs.
You taste like turpentine.
Hold on.
That's better.
- Hi there. - Good afternoon!
- Welcome to the neighborhood, huh? - Well, thank you.
I like your place.
Come on, Dad.
Nice!
Hi. How you doing today?
Fine, thank you.
How do you like the color?
Pretty good.
Hi! Mr. and Mrs. Thayer.
Drake Goodman.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Ran into double overtime and I forgot about our appointment.
This is the apartment.
We're asking $1300 a month...
plus a $2000 security deposit.
You pay the gas and electric, and we pay the water and garbage.
Here, take this.
In the back, we have the kitchen.
- Oh, it's great. - Brand-new gas stove...
disposal, microwave, brand-new refrigerator.
Stop that!
There's a full bath.
All the original tile's been redone.
It's the original bathtub.
We would want to repaint.
- Yeah, we'd pay for all the materials. - It's just so chalky now.
What color did you have in mind?
- Black. - Black.
Here's the gas stove, the dishwasher, the microwave, the disposal.
I'm sure Drake showed you all this.
And your credit and references all checked out, so...
Oh, we'll paint over that.
We'll paint over it.
- You don't have children, do you? - No. This is a very nice place.
- We wanted to look at it again to be sure. - I understand. Yeah.
Just got separated from my wife.
I'm hell in the kitchen.
I've been thinking about taking a cooking class or something.
Excuse me.
We will take the apartment.
Oh, great. Okay.
We would like to start moving in by tomorrow.
Pardon me. A thousand a month?
Yeah. Oh, and a $1500 security deposit.
I can handle that.
I'll have the key for you in the morning, then.
- Thank you. - Thank you, Mr. Watanabe.
Domo, Mrs. Watanabe.
- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.
Any chance I can pay you half now, half at the end of the month?
- I'm in this 90-day C/D, and... - We'll have to check your credit.
No sweat. My credit's solid.
I've been looking to buy a place...
but I haven't found anything I like for the price.
- Here you go. - I said, my credit is solid.
You still have to fill out an application...
- and Drake will want to check it out. - Understand something.
I want this apartment. My credit is good.
- I don't want to lose it... - Obviously, you're at the top of the list.
You're the first person who's seen the place.
Yeah.
Okay. Thank you.
You're welcome.
- Miss Palmer? - Yeah.
I'm sorry. I just get the runaround so much, you know?
That's okay. No sweat.
- I'll get this back to you soon as I can. - Okay.
Patty?
In here. I'm sick.
- What's the matter? - I'll be all right. Answer the door.
It might be Mr. What's-His-Name for the key to downstairs.
- Morning. - Good morning.
- Good morning.
Mrs. Watanabe.
These are the keys to the back apartment.
I'm so sorry so early.
That's okay. I'll just go get dressed.
All these people aren't moving in with you, are they?
Mr. Palmer, right?
Goodman. Drake Goodman.
Sorry.
Very good.
- Hi. - Hi. I'm Carter Hayes.
I stopped by a couple of weeks ago and spoke with your wife...
- about renting the studio apartment. - Girlfriend.
Oh, your girlfriend. Oh, sorry. We don't want to rush anything, do we?
- I assume it's still available? - Yes, it is.
Is Patty here? I don't want to keep you...
No problem. I'm taking care of the rentals.
- Did she show you the apartment? - No. I'd like to take a look.
Good. Yeah, we can go this way.
- Is it all right if I leave my car? Thanks. - Yeah.
Boy, you've done a beautiful job here.
Thank you. It's taken just about every cent we've got.
Yeah. I'll bet.
I love these old Victorians.
My grandmother... My father's mother, I guess it was.
- grew up in a mansion in Pacific Heights.
Oh, yeah. Whereabouts?
Broadway and... I don't know.
I don't know. They tore it down.
I'd never actually been there, but I'd seen photographs.
And I'd heard all the stories.
Can you imagine what that piece of real estate would be worth today?
- Well, we all got to start somewhere. - Yeah.
- Is this your first place? - Yes, it is.
You and your girlfriend went in on it together?
Yeah, you know, partners.
Yeah. It's hard, isn't it?
Well, it's the first time we've lived together.
It's working, though.
Not to mention the rent we're saving.
When can I move in, Drake?
Well, I just have to have you fill out an application...
I'd like to, if you don't mind, pay you the first six months in advance.
- I still need you to get this... - I may even have it on me.
The reason for the six months is I travel a lot in my business.
I'm in and out of the country, so I can't guarantee I'll be here...
the first of the month. Damn, I've only got about $2900 on me.
How about if I pay you 2000 now...
and pay the rest next week? Or wire you the entire amount...
which would be... - Seventy-five hundred.
Seventy-five hundred from my bank in San Antonio.
You know, I'm sorry...
but I have to get this application filled out. It's just a formality.
Yeah, it's a credit history, that sort of thing.
Yeah, is there a problem?
Well, no. It's just that I work for a private trust...
and the trust pays me my expenses and my salary.
They pay my bank cards, my room and board, et cetera.
So I don't really have that traditional kind of credit, you understand?
Could I verify the trust?
Well, see, I'm bound by client confidentiality.
I mean, they're a prominent family and they've got interests worldwide.
Boy, believe me, I would if I could. Let me think.
I'm always running into this problem, you know?
- Do you have a phone? - Yeah. Upstairs.
You know, better yet, I'll tell you what.
Why don't I give you some personal references?
Or call the trust private attorney, Bennett Fidlow.
- Yeah, okay. A previous landlord. - I got it.
Yeah, I hope you don't mind calling out of town.
I don't think you'll have a problem.
No, no. Mr. Hayes listed Mr. Fidlow...
as a personal reference on a rental application.
I'm sorry. What was that name again?
- Carter Hayes. - Hayes. Mr. Fidlow only handles private...
Ma'am. Yes, Mr. Hayes told me that it was a private family trust.
This is a personal reference.
He'll have to give you that information himself.
I see. Well, when Mr. Fidlow gets time, could you please have him call me?
I will. Goodbye.
Mo. no. He was a model tenant.
Always paid rent on time, left the unit spotlessly clean.
In fact, I think I gave him his whole security deposit back.
That was the first time I've ever done that.
So you can definitely recommend Mr. Hayes?
I can recommend him to you with no hesitation at all.
Thank you. Thank you for your time.
Listen, just out of curiosity...
where has Carter moved to, Mr...?
- Goodman. - Mr. Goodman.
Just out of curiosity, do you have that address?
- What about Mr. Baker? - What about him?
He was here first.
Well, where's his application?
Maybe he's one of those minority scam artists.
What are you talking about?
They try to get you worried about discrimination...
so you don't check their credit. - That's not what happened.
Some of these people can be pretty shrewd, Patty.
How would you know?
It's not a racial thing. It's just common sense.
Look, I spoke to the woman at the bank...
and she told me that Carter Hayes' income is over $200,000 a year.
I've checked him out.
Okay, fine. Then let's rent to him if you say he's okay.
- He's a nice guy. You met him. - When?
A couple weeks ago. He said he came by and talked to you.
I don't think so.
He knew your name. Why would he say that if he hadn't?
I don't know.
Look, Patty, I'm just taking up the slack here.
You're worried about paint and wallpaper.
Somebody's got to rent these so we can make next month's mortgage.
You're losing your sense of humor.
- No, I'm not. - Yes, you are.
You're becoming a crotchety old man with his building.
Next thing, you're going to have hair growing out of weird parts of your face.
Be wandering around with a toilet plunger...
griping about property taxes and people who take long showers.
- No, I won't. - Yes, you will.
No, I won't.
You don't think I can handle this?
Yes, I do.
Is somebody in here?
Oh, hi.
I thought you were from the phone company.
Who are you?
I'm your new tenant.
I'm Carter Hayes. You must be Patty, right?
Yeah.
- I think I spoke with you a couple of... - No, you didn't.
How did you get in here?
Well, the door was open a little and I just opened it and came on in.
I didn't wanna ring the buzzer, bother you so early...
so I just let myself in. Hope that's okay.
Drake said it would be all right if I came by for the phone installation.
Was that you hammering?
No.
You did a great job restoring this place.
Thanks.
Did you pick those light fixtures out?
Yeah.
You have nice taste.
Thanks.
Nice meeting you.
I found a roofer. It's gonna cost us 75 bucks for an estimate.
It's a good thing I rented that other apartment.
Mr. Hayes is downstairs.
What do you mean he's downstairs?
In the apartment.
Did you let him in?
He was already in.
I told him he can't move in till we get his money.
Well, I heard hammering, and there he was.
What was he hammering?
He said he wasn't.
Mr. Hayes.
It's Drake Goodman.
Carter?
Is anybody in there?
Sorry, but we have no record of a wire transfer to your account, Mr. Goodman.
My tenant assured me the money would be wired today.
Bank of Texas. Seventy-five hundred dollars.
Maybe the bank lost the money or it got credited to the wrong account.
It's doubtful. But I'd need the transaction numbers...
to tell you anything more.
It is possible he never wired the money, Mr. Goodman.
For his own reasons.
Look, please, just check the account one more time.
Who are you?
I'm the landlord.
Carter went to Seattle on business. He'll be back on Friday.
Carter was supposed to wire me some money for his rent and security deposit.
I don't know anything about that. You're gonna have to talk to Carter.
What's your name?
- Greg. - Greg, listen...
if you speak to Carter before Friday...
tell him that he's got this problem with his rent...
Sounds like your problem.
Ask him to call me with transaction numbers...
or give them to you to give me so we can straighten this out.
Yeah. I'll be sure to give him the message.
You just hit a wire. It's okay.
I'll go down and fix it.
Don't pull that nail until I say it's okay.
All right.
You require new wires.
This is a very dangerous situation.
Okay!
I got it!
Is it on?
No!
How about now?
Not yet!
Drake?
No, Patty!
Did that do it?
Not yet.
There you go.
Okay.
Mr. Hayes?
Is that you?
Mr. Hayes?
- Drake. - Hey, you fixed it.
Hayes is down there, sitting in his car.
He was just watching me.
Hayes!
No, thank you. I've left my number before.
And Mr. Fidlow has never returned my phone call.
- What was that name again? - Carter Hayes. H-A-Y-E-S.
I've left you this information before.
Well. I'm sorry. sir. We do not have a client by that name.
Well, maybe, maybe you can explain to me...
how it is that Mr. Fidlow doesn't know Carter Hayes...
when Mr. Hayes, who's locked himself into my goddamn apartment...
hasn't paid rent...
keeps telling me to call his goddamn attorney, Bennett Fidlow...
in San fucking Antonio, Texas!
Hello?
Hello!
What's the most important thing...
I said to remember when we're riding?
We're the boss.
That's right. And why are we the boss?
Because we're smarter.
Absolutely.
Okay, that's enough for today. Dismount.
- Will you take over, Jonna? - Okay.
- Hi. - Okay, guys, remember:
Take the reins in your right hand, stay on the left side of your horse.
You look so serious.
Rough day at work.
It's a kite-eat-kite world out there, Patty.
You know, I was thinking we could sneak out tonight.
I made a reservation at Mama Chiam's.
I don't know if I'm up to it.
A bottle of wine, a nice dinner. It will do us both good.
I went to the doctor today.
Why?
I can't seem to shake this flu I've been fighting...
so I figured I'd just make an appointment and go.
- What did he say? - It's definitely not the flu.
That's good, then. Maybe we'd both feel better...
if we went out and had fun.
Hayes' rent didn't come, did it?
No. Tomorrow probably.
- Probably? - Yeah. It's a bank mix-up.
- I'm on top of it. Don't worry about it. - Drake...
Look, I got us into this, Patty, I'll get us out.
End of discussion.
End of discussion?
The doctor says I'm pregnant.
Congratulations.
- Hello. - Miss Palmer?
Who is this?
Yeah, I come here and knock. Nobody answers.
Hammering stops.
I go back, bang, bang, bang.
I don't like this guy.
It's Drake Goodman, the landlord. May I come in?
Look, I know you're in there. I can hear you in there.
I've got a key. So if you don't open the door, I'm gonna come in anyway.
He's changed the locks.
You changed the fucking locks!
All right.
Good night.
I don't care if he comes through with the money now or not.
I just want him out.
No harm, no foul.
He leaves right away, he doesn't owe us anything.
Goodbye. Good riddance.
Now what?
Jesus.
Yes? Who is it?
San Francisco Police Department.
They were doing construction at 2-fucking-30 in the morning.
Won't answer the door.
I can't use my key to get in. They've changed all the fucking locks.
I don't appreciate foul language, sir.
Officer, may I say something?
My friend is a sculptor. He was working late last night.
- Sorry if he kept anyone up. - Bullshit!
- You back off. - He hasn't even paid his rent. Ask him.
There has been a mix-up in the wire transfer of my money. Sorry.
They've moved in there.
Changed the locks so I can't see what he and his buddy are destroying.
He hasn't paid the rent or even a security fucking deposit!
- Take it easy. - Look, I can handle this, Patty!
- Fine. - Listen, listen, listen.
I understand why Mr. Goodman is upset.
His bank lost my money. I was out of town.
He's in the middle. I don't wanna file a complaint.
I don't understand why he wouldn't want to straighten things out...
unless he's found somebody else. - Bullshit!
Look, let's take a walk. Come on. Now!
I just want the guy to pay his rent!
Come on. Cool it down.
What? What?
- What you did is against the law. - Well, my other tenants...
Listen, I'm truly sorry it's come to this.
The bank assures me the money's been sent.
- I don't think Drake un... - I'd like you to not talk to me.
Listen, I just want the guy the hell out of my house!
Listen, or he's gonna be so far up your butt...
you're gonna be picking him out your nose.
I want you to turn back on all the heat and all the power...
to this man's apartment.
You apologize, and you do not, and I emphasize "do not"...
harass him again.
Then go out and get yourself a lawyer. According to California Civil Code...
Mr. Hayes can sue you for this stunt you just pulled.
And most likely, he'll win.
He doesn't have a right to be in the apartment. He hasn't paid rent!
Are you listening to me? If he's in, he's got rights. That's how it works.
And I'll tell you something else, friend. If he decides to fight an eviction...
you're already knee-deep in shit.
Get a lawyer.
He's taken possession.
So whether he signed a lease...
or whether he paid you money or not. he's legally your tenant now.
And he's protected by laws that say you have to go to court...
and prove that he deserves to be evicted.
However, the net effect of these laws...
is to protect any pointy-headed cretin...
who moves into your property...
and slowly drives you bankrupt and insane.
So, what do we do?
I can take on the case.
What are our chances of winning?
No guarantees.
My base fee for an uncontested case is $250.
We charge $90 an hour thereafter...
and a minimum of $360 for any court appearances.
- How long will it take? - Uncontested, six to eight weeks.
- If he contests? - Six to eight months, worst case.
Then you have to go after him in court again to collect.
Wouldn't it be easier to throw him out?
Easy and wrong.
This is the process, folks.
There aren't any shortcuts.
I need a description of Hayes for Mr. Revilla. my process server...
and I need the key to your front door.
- Is Carter Hayes in? - No.
I have some important documents for him.
Okay.
All right.
Get them shined, get them shined.
Buddy, you need to get in that bank and get a loan.
Look at them shoes.
All right. Low-investment loans for people like shoes like yours.
Come. Get a good shine right here.
I'll put a glow on that sole.
All right. Who's next?
Ladies in skirts, half price. Come here, sunshine.
Get that half-price special right here on Dr. Shoe Love.
Get them shined, get them shined here.
Shine them up, shine them up. Where you going?
All right. All right. Let me just guess what they said.
"As much as we'd like to help you, we can't afford to string out the loan.
It wouldn't be fair to us, it wouldn't be fair to you".
- Right. - They say the bank is pulling for you...
that no one wants to foreclose a loan? They tell you that?
That's horse-puckey. Bankerspeak.
So, what do we do now, Reed?
I can loan you maybe a grand, but that's not gonna help.
It's not gonna do it. There are alternative lenders, you know...
high-interest houses that specialize in burying you.
"Let a smile be your umbrella".
Great.
- I could start riding again. - Oh, that's a good idea, Patty.
You're pregnant with a blown knee.
- You think you could ride in competition? - Wait. Are you pregnant?
My knee is fine. And I don't have to be pregnant.
I'm not going to lose you, I'm not going to lose our child...
and I'm not going to lose our house.
Well, I guess we can just stop worrying now.
Listen to this.
"Dear Drake and Patty...
I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding that has come between us.
Please accept this gift in my sincere hope that we can work everything out.
Carter Hayes".
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Mrs. Patty! Mrs. Patty!
What? What, Mrs. Watanabe?
Kitchen! Kitchen!
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
In here?
What?
Oh, shit!
Shit!
The San Francisco roach is generally German...
or oriental in derivation. With your krauts edging out your rice grinders...
in the overall disgustingness factor.
But I think these are American.
How are we supposed to pay? We're $1100 short this month!
- Don't yell at me. - Yankee roach...
If we don't do it, MacDonald says we lose the eviction.
We can't afford that either. Maybe we should borrow money for this.
No. No, we're not gonna borrow money.
This is stupid! We should just let this building go.
Okay, fine! You do whatever you want.
I'm not letting this jerk chase me out of my property.
It's that promiscuity factor that makes it hard to hammer down.
I'll be using pyrethrin in a high-pressure injection system.
I've also got the R.S.U.
- What's that? - Roach-sucking unit.
It's just a backup.
They're coming in from next door.
Oh, shit.
Oh, reinforcements. Holy...
They're probably camped in the other apartment.
If we could go at it from there, we'd have a chance at containment.
What if we can't?
Get a whole bunch of little tiny leashes and pretend they're pets.
I'm sorry.
You know?
Our luck has gotta change tomorrow.
Maybe.
- Yeah? - Carter Hayes lives here, doesn't he?
- Yes. - Yeah, well, do you know if he's in?
There doesn't seem to be any answer.
I don't know.
- Is Carter Hayes in there? - No, he's not here.
Look, I'm Ann. Did he tell you about me?
He must have told you about me. Ann from the desert.
I've been driving all night. I don't have time. I'm not leaving until I...
- Why don't you just come in here, okay? - Let go of me.
- Shut up. - Are you his partner?
- None of your business! - I need to talk to him.
- About what? - You're not that stupid. Figure it out.
No, I'm sorry. It was a gift.
Was it 18-karat gold, 14-karat gold?
I have no knowledge of jewelry. I just... I'm sorry.
- That's all right. - I just need money desperately.
Next.
All right, what we got?
The only way I can swing it is if you deposit $5800 with us.
If you do that, I can give you $5000.
That's what we call a secured loan.
You'll get the money in a couple of days. No qualifying.
If I had $5800, I wouldn't need to borrow anything.
Right.
I guess we won't be doing any business.
Wait. Your ad in the Yellow Pages said that you give high-risk loans...
that you specialize in giving loans to people who can't get a loan anyplace.
Don't believe everything you read, okay?
I've gone through the figures three times. I cannot do it.
All I'm asking for is $5000 to get us through a few months.
You have a $750,000 piece of property here.
Sell your building and keep the change.
I can't sell the building.
- Is she done yet? - She's done.
Damn.
- Is there something you wanna tell me? - What do you mean?
I think there's stuff you're not telling me, Carter.
There are a lot of things I'm not telling.
- Your girlfriend came by the other day. - So?
So she told me that the two of you made 250 grand...
on a real-estate deal like this.
She didn't see any of it.
She's mistaken. She's a useless bitch anyway.
She didn't have to do anything. I had the whole thing wired.
Listen to me, and listen to me carefully, okay? This is my business...
and I'm very good at it, Greg. - Yeah?
How come we're getting evicted so soon?
- You said that wasn't gonna happen. - Not an issue.
I told you from the get-go there was gonna be risks involved...
and you have to be flexible! - Yeah, well, don't bullshit me, Carter.
I just want you to know that I know...
if you cut me out... - What?
- Just don't do it! - Or what? Or what?
Drake?
Drake!
- Drake? - What?
Oh, God.
I almost ran over that guy from downstairs.
I thought maybe you'd gotten in a fight with him.
They've got our cat down there, and they're breeding roaches.
Apparently, screwing people over is just a job to them.
What are you talking about?
Isn't that the best?
I mean, our life is coming apart...
and this son of a bitch just thinks it's business as usual.
- Oh, Drake. - This is what he does for a living.
You're drunk.
Wait, wait, wait.
- What? - You'll like this too.
This was under the door when I came in.
It's from the Watanabes.
It's the noise and the bugs...
and my wife, she can't sleep.
Me, I'm so sorry. It's no good.
You signed a lease for one year, Mr. Watanabe.
I will try to pay you back.
Moving expense, new apartment expense...
lots of expense.
You can take me to court.
Sue me, but...
So sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Well...
I guess there's nothing else to say.
Good fortune.
Yeah.
In answer to your suit against him...
Mr. Hayes has submitted to the court Affidavits A and B...
confirming plaintiff's attempted unlawful eviction of a Mr. Hayes...
on the 15th of last May.
I turned his gas and electricity off. There was a policeman there.
- Your Honor, my clients and I... - I assume you have received these?
Yes, I think there's been a mix-up.
I think the law is quite clear on this point, don't you?
Mr. Hayes is entitled to a reduction of rent due to uninhabitability...
caused by Mr. Goodman's attempt to force him from the premises...
by disconnecting his utilities.
The court rules for the defendant, Carter Hayes.
Let the record show, according to the lease...
Mr. Hayes' legal cost is to be paid by the plaintiff.
I would like to ask for a 10-minute postponement.
Miss MacDonald, you have other cases before this court.
Hope you're better prepared for them.
I assume you'll want to cooperate in keeping things moving.
Yes, sir.
That's it?
Why didn't you tell me you tried to force him out?
- I didn't think it mattered. - It set us back months.
- He's lying. - This guy has been playing you...
like a piano concerto.
Me? What about you?
I got a guy living in my building who hasn't paid me one cent.
Not only can't you get him out, but now I owe him money?
Maybe you'd like to retain another attorney.
Stephanie.
Please don't quit.
Drake's been under a lot of pressure.
The bank is threatening to foreclose on us.
This isn't a moral question, Patricia.
Morally, you're right.
You win. Big deal.
This is a game, and the object of the game...
is to get Mr. Hayes out of your building before he destroys your lives.
He knows you're gonna get him out. He's trying to stay as long as he can.
- Why? - I don't know.
Because it's possible, because he's evil.
What difference does it make?
It's nothing personal.
God forbid he ever makes it personal.
- Drake! - Son of a...
Stop it!
No, stop! Damn it, Drake!
- Goddamn it. - What?
What is happening to you?
I want him out of here!
Patty?
Oh, hon.
- Patty. - Oh, God.
Just a couple more tests for you.
- Hi. - Hi.
How do you feel?
I feel like Lady Macbeth.
There was so much blood.
Everything's gonna be all right.
You know, the doctor says...
we can even try again after a few months.
911 Emergency.
Get me the police, please.
Something's gotta change, Drake.
You and me in this place...
it's just not working.
Drake.
What do you expect me to say to that, Patty?
Fine? Nice knowing you?
Jesus.
That's not what I meant.
I don't know what I expect anymore.
Maybe that's part of the problem.
I'm sorry I talked you into buying this place.
You didn't talk me into anything.
Patty.
Something was right about us before.
Whatever else has got screwed up, we have to remember that.
Hi, I didn't want to intrude...
but I heard the ambulance last night.
I called the hospital.
They told me what happened.
God.
Nature can be so cruel sometimes.
Anyway, Patty, I wanted to offer my condolences.
If there's anything at all I can do to help...
Drake!
Drake, stop! Stop it!
Drake, stop it. You'll kill him. Stop it!
Drake, goddamn it!
Stop it!
Drake, are you all right? Are you all right?
- I'm sorry, Patty. - It's okay.
It's okay.
Get down from there.
No, no, no. Officer!
Officer! Hey! Hey! Don't hurt him!
What are you arresting me for?
He didn't do anything.
You have the right to remain silent.
- He didn't do anything. - We got an ambulance.
It's the other guy. Please don't hurt him.
- to speak to an attorney and have an attorney present...
You're arresting the wrong man!
- Can I go with him? Please? - No.
Keep struggling, I'll break your goddamn arm. Watch your head.
Fucking bastards. You got the wrong fucking man!
You arrested the wrong man!
There's nothing you can do until the arraignment tomorrow morning.
He needs a criminal law specialist, Patricia.
I'm out of my depth here. I can recommend somebody.
My guess is that Hayes doesn't care about the criminal charges.
He's gonna go after Drake with a civil suit.
This is what he wanted. Game's over. Drake loses.
Can I give you a ride home?
What does this do to the eviction?
Ironically, nothing will get him out.
Of course, Hayes might get the building before he's through...
because of the civil suit.
It's lucky you're not married, otherwise Drake would pull you down with him.
I had a miscarriage last night.
I know.
I need to know where Drake will be staying.
- He'll be at home with me. - Patty...
Hayes is asking for a temporary restraining order because of the assault.
Drake can't come within 500 feet of the building as long as Hayes is there.
This is our home.
This is all happening to us in our home.
I know.
Want a hand?
No, no, I got it.
Better get some clean sheets.
These look pretty rude.
Hello.
Hello?
Patty.
You know...
I think that under different circumstances...
you and I could have gotten to be good friends.
The time allotted for you to dial has been exceeded.
Please hang up and dial again.
The time allotted for you to dial has been exceeded.
Please hang up and dial again.
Get it started, huh? Now watch this.
Voilà.
I'll get that. Hang on, man. Don't burn the house down.
- Hello. - Hi, it's me.
Is everything all right?
I just wanted to see how you were doing.
Fine. You know, it only hurts when I blink.
Is something wrong?
No, I just... I miss you.
Why don't you come over here?
This is ridiculous. Why don't you come here and spend the night?
It's okay. Somebody's gotta be here.
Nobody has to be there.
- Tell me what's wrong. - Everything's fine.
- Mo. Patty... - I better...
- I better go. Don't worry. - Patty.
- Bye. - Patty. you're not...
You're a very brave and stupid man.
What are you doing, Drake?
You can't come in here.
Listen, Carter...
it's no big deal.
I just want to go upstairs and see Patty, okay?
But you're breaking the law, Drake.
Wait a minute.
Oh, goddamn it.
Hi.
I really screwed things up.
I don't know what I've been trying to prove.
Don't talk.
What was I trying to prove?
You don't have to prove anything.
Go to sleep.
I love you.
I love you too.
We have no case, because Hayes...
was technically within his right to protect himself.
Goodman threatens Hayes, who, fearing for his life...
based upon the previous complaint...
defends himself. - You're the DA, Henry. Make a case.
There's a history of mutual animosity here.
There's a history of Goodman assaulting Hayes.
I can make a case, but I can't win it. What's the point?
- They're a nice couple. - Right.
Well, at least the default judgment came through today.
We're evicting the son of a bitch tomorrow.
I'll need you to sign right here.
Mr. Carter Hayes?
It's the sheriff's department, Mr. Hayes. We've come to see you out.
Appointed locksmith, Manfred Bagil, will facilitate entry at this point.
Oh, God.
Damn.
God, this is bad.
How much can he make off of this crap?
God!
Look, I don't have his name here. He's probably at the station.
I I Gas stove, microwave...
disposal, dishwasher...
two sinks, one toilet"?
About how many electrical fixtures would you guess?
I don't know.
Okay, it's not important but, you know, we will need it for your insurance.
- We're gonna need a complete list. - Our insurance was canceled.
- Yeah. - Patricia Palmer still with you?
- Yeah. - I'd like to speak with her.
Sure, come on in.
That's my boss.
Here you go.
I recognized the name on the report.
You two know each other?
Why don't you take these, see if we can get a start on where this cretin...
might fence appliances. Thank you. - Sure thing, lieutenant.
I guess you're wishing now you'd rented to the black man.
You never brought back your application.
I brought it back.
I never got it.
The Porsche in your garage was leased.
Hayes made one payment, put stolen plates on.
They've been looking for him since.
I sent a tow over to haul away what's left of it.
He shot my boyfriend.
I know. You're lucky he didn't kill him.
This is a sick individual, Ms. Palmer.
Be grateful he's out of your life.
Right now, you don't mean a thing to him.
Leave it that way. If he's gonna get caught, we'll catch him.
He shot my boyfriend. My boyfriend is in the hospital.
He destroyed our property.
There are lawsuits, there's a foreclosure. I had a miscarriage.
And you're telling me to forget about him?
Next time, maybe he ain't so lucky.
Next time, maybe he runs into the man who blows his brains out.
Next time?
Let him go, Ms. Palmer.
- Mr. Fidlow. - May I ask what it's concerning?
It's regarding James Danforth.
- Yes, ma'am. - It's a Patricia Palmer on Line 1...
regarding James Danforth. - Put her through.
How can I help you?
Yeah. you represent Charles and James Danforth?
I'm executor of a family trust...
a special conservatorship benefiting James Danforth...
but this should not be confused with being his attorney...
whatever he's told you.
- Are you aware...? - Furthermore...
whatever James has done, the trust cannot be touched...
and neither I nor his brother can or will...
be held accountable for his activities.
You mean his family pays him to stay away?
I'm afraid I can't comment on that.
Well, where is he now?
Look. you just best let this sleeping dog lie.
- Where...? - Lady...
he's been out of control for a long time.
Well, maybe I should just go to his brother directly.
You can't touch him, Ms. Palmer. James has no assets...
the trust cannot be attached...
and he is legally severed from his family.
I don't want money, Mr. Fidlow.
I just want to know where he is.
He doesn't tell me where he is. Ever.
Well. then tell me where he's been.
He's far and away the most intelligent man I've ever met.
He's not your type.
Oh, it's okay to want him. It's a free country.
I could tell, you know, when I saw you up in Frisco.
I could tell you had a thing for him.
Are you his type?
What do you think?
I think you're sitting here waiting for him...
and meanwhile, he's blown you off...
and it's pretty pathetic.
You don't even know him.
You don't even know his real name.
It isn't Hayes, you know.
It isn't Carter Hayes.
Carter Hayes is the stupid old man who owned this condo.
He tried to throw us out...
he sent his tough guys after us to rough us up...
but now look who's here and look who's not.
You're the pathetic one.
And he didn't blow me off.
He sent me a postcard just yesterday.
Read it.
He's not like anyone else. He does what he wants.
We understand each other.
That's what we have.
You?
You're just chasing a shadow.
Yes, Andre.
I need it delivered immediately to Room 1550.
Excuse me.
Yes. Thank you.
Do you have someone named Carter Hayes staying here?
Hayes? I'll check.
No, I'm sorry. We don't.
How about Goodman? Drake Goodman?
Goodman?
I'll check.
We do, but I see that he's out.
Well, he left this in the store where I work.
- Think you could give it to him? - Certainly.
- Would you care to leave your name...? - No, thank you.
Front desk. Victor.
Hello?
Special delivery. Room 81.
- Special delivery? Has not yet arrived. - Yes, special delivery.
- It's not here. - Room 81.
- Special delivery has not yet arrived. - Really?
It's not here.
- Special delivery is not here. - It must be.
Not arrived? Sure?
- Bye. Bye-bye. - Later on.
- Yes. - Later.
- 1031. - 1031?
- Mr. Goodman? - That's right.
No messages.
Oh, a young woman returned your wallet, sir.
- Pardon? - She found it in the store...
where she works.
Oh, yeah. Great. Thanks.
Mr. Goodman, how are you?
- Hi. How are you? - Come on in.
Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you.
I was just wondering if you could let me into my room.
My dumb husband's locked me out and I thought...
Which room?
1031. Goodman.
Okay.
Thank you so much.
I didn't know what I was gonna do. Thanks a lot.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
That damn son of a bitch!
Goddamn motherfucker!
Is everything okay?
Yes.
- Hello. - Oh. good. I'm so glad you're home.
You're not. Where are you?
- You went after him? - Absolutely.
Look, I don't have much time and I need you to help me, okay?
Call and cancel your credit cards.
Hayes is using duplicates with your name.
- Great. - Then call the bank...
put a hold on our checking account. - Why?
There's a 24-hour hot line. I think the number's on top of...
On top of the last bank statement. I know. What are you doing?
Something that's gonna make us feel good.
- Be careful. - I'll be back tonight. Bye.
Hello. Room service. Gary speaking.
Hi, this is Mrs. Goodman in Room 1031.
- Yes? - Yeah.
My husband and I would like to have a dinner party up here...
and charge it to the room. - What would you like?
- I'd like to have vichyssoise... - Vichyssoise.
and caesar salad and filet mignon. - Caesar salad. Filet mignon.
What do you have for dessert? Do you have crème brûlée?
Of course we do. yes. With raspberry sauce.
- Sounds good. - Yes. What beverage would you like?
- We'll need a full bar, coffee, dessert. - Full bar.
Of course. How many people is this for?
- Eighteen. - Eighteen?
- Very good. - How long will that be?
- At least two hours. - Two hours?
- Can you put a rush on it? - We try. We try, yes.
Great. By the way...
it's our anniversary today, and my husband would like...
to send a bottle of champagne to everybody on the 10th floor.
Everyone on the 10th floor? That's very generous.
Well, that's the kind of man that he is.
Thank you.
- Good evening. - Good evening, Mr. Goodman.
- Any messages? - 1031?
- No messages. - Mr. Goodman...
may I please have a word with you?
I'm sorry to trouble you, sir...
but we seem to be having a problem with your credit card.
Really? What kind of problem?
This is Lieutenant Palmer from the San Francisco Police.
Yes. can I help you?
I was wondering if you leased a black Cadillac Coupe DeVille...
with the license plate number 2PET764...
to a man named Drake Goodman.
Let me check.
- Yes. we did. - You did?
- Why? - There's some things that I think...
you might be interested in knowing.
Why don't I write a check to take care of things until we get this straightened out?
That wouldn't be acceptable. I'm sorry.
We called your bank... As a backup.
- Yeah. - They said your account has been frozen.
Yes. I'd like to report some stolen traveler's checks.
- Lost or stolen? - My husband is certain...
they've been stolen.
All 30 of them.
I assumed you got the necessary approval when I checked in.
Yes, but when a customer charges over $100 to their room...
we run a card again for approval and that's when we discovered the problem.
- I didn't charge anything to my room. - It's probably clerical error on their part.
We have to look out for ourselves. You understand?
- I didn't charge anything to my room! - Well, maybe it was your wife.
My wife?
Mr. Goodman? Excuse me, Mr. Goodman.
- Not now. - Mr. Goodman...
- Taxi. - I cannot allow you to leave...
- Evening. - until we get this straightened out.
Mr. Goodman! The hotel has a very strict policy in this matter.
We will... I assure you, we will take legal steps immediately.
Mr. Goodman, we will call the police!
Get out of the street!
They're lying.
These people are completely pathological.
They took a half year's rent from me, and they said I never paid them.
They evicted me, they slandered me, they totally destroyed my credit.
They physically assaulted me.
They threatened my life.
And now this.
These people are parasites.
Florence...
I am so sorry...
that you were even touched by any of this.
Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed.
When I first met you, I was enchanted...
and I was dazzled.
I'm sorry.
It's not like I can't prove they're lying. I can prove they're lying.
It's gonna take a little time. I'll have to take them to court, I guess.
But for right now, it's my word against theirs, isn't it?
I don't know what these people want.
You know that if they hadn't tied up my trust...
I would never ask you for anything.
But if the bail isn't paid, I can't get out of here...
and I cannot prove to you, sir...
what I hope Florence already knows in her heart.
At least, I would hope that you know.
Look...
I'm just asking you to do...
whatever it is your heart tells you to do.
Oh, not again.
TV 20.
And now one of the most unusual buys you will ever see.
A six-piece faux-pony-fur desk set.
And we have a caller right now. Hi. Who am I speaking to?
- Hi. This is Mary. - Where are you calling from?
- From Santa Fe. - Santa Fe?
- This desk set is perfect for you, isn't it? - David, I just love this, so I got three.
- You got a great buy on these. - I know.
- You know. They're only $54 right now. - I know that.
- Isn't this unbelievable? - Yeah.
I have varicose veins. and I hate to shop at malls.
This is perfect. I can pull out my Visa. dial the phone...
- it's great. - You just prop up your feet...
relax and enjoy yourself. and keep on shopping.
Okay. you guys. stay here and keep me covered.
Kitty?
Kitty.
Kitty, you bad cat. Where have you been?
You scared me to death down there.
Kitty. Kitty!
Kitty.
Kitty?
Help!
You crossed the line.
You were in my room. You were in my private things.
You and your boyfriend...
you insult my intelligence.
You got into my area.
What are you doing?
How am I gonna make a living now?
What am I gonna tell my family, huh?
Did you know half of all homicide victims are killed with their own handguns?
- Did you know that? - No, no.
Stop!
What am I gonna do with you, Patty?
What are you making me do here?
Don't you know I have responsibilities?
I've got people. I've got my brother.
I mean, I've got a lot of people who depend on me.
Then you come along. I mean...
what was the point?
How did it feel, huh, Patty?
- Did it feel good, is that it? - No.
When you were in my private things, spying on me...
it felt good, didn't it? - No.
Yes, it did. You crossed the line, and it felt good.
- No. No. - You're lying.
- No. No!
Help me!
It's a Victorian. It was built in 1883.
Somebody remodeled it in the '40s...
but we tried to restore it back to its original state the best that we could.
- You did all the work yourself? - Yeah, most of it.
Do you know how hard it is to find packing boxes?
- Hi. I actually had to buy these. - Hi.
Honey... This is Drake. This is Bill and Amy.
- I'm Bill. - Nice to meet you.
Amy, nice to meet you.
We were just telling Patty how impressed we are...
with all the work you've done.
Thank you. So you wanna buy the place?
Well, it's a little more money than we thought of originally...
but it's great.
Well, you know, you've got the two rental units to help make the mortgage.
Well, we'd sure need it.
Oh, honey, look at these floors. They're gorgeous.
- Yeah, we just refinished them. - We just had them refinished.
- Beautiful. - Yeah.
- Thank you. - Why don't we leave you alone to talk?
And we'll be right upstairs if you need us, packing, okay?
- It was nice meeting you. - Yeah.
- Patty? - Yeah?
Do you mind if I ask you why you're selling?
You've done so much to this place. You obviously put your heart in it.
No, not really. It was just an investment.
I know you love it, but we're talking about $900,000.
I bet we can offer them 850 or 825.
Oh, that's all. Okay.
What if we don't qualify for a bank loan?
We will.
First thing I'm gonna do is take these curtains off these windows.
Can we talk about the purchase price before you redesign the entire place?
Oh, I just have so many ideas.
It'll be okay.
It'll be okay, huh?
Well, as long as you say so.
I know so.